Have you ever wanted to meet someone and immediately feel like your BFF? The girl you know through school, work, or a mutual friend’s circles? You know the one. She’s intelligent, funny, and cares about her friends more than anything. She might not be your first choice for a best friend (I’m looking at you, Erica), but if you’re honest with yourself, you know that this is the girl you want to date. And the same can be said for meeting a new girl. If you want to get out of your routine and experience new things with someone special in your life, then getting a girlfriend’s number is the best way to go. But how do you actually do it? It might seem intimidating at first, especially if you’re shy and don’t consider yourself to have many friends. But believe it or not, there are ways to meet new people without making the entire process too complicated. Here are some tips that will help get you started on the right track:
1. Expect to get rejected
Getting a girl’s number can be nerve-wracking. You never know if she’ll call you back or what kind of number she’ll give you. You could have the most fantastic date with the girl of your dreams, and then all of a sudden, she won’t even return your calls. Or maybe she’s busy, and you could have totally knocked her socks off with your smarts, but you didn’t show up to her meeting with her friends. (That’s what happened to me.) So, the first step is to prepare for rejection. If you want to set the bar low, wait until you’re pretty sure you want to message a girl, and then don’t message her back. If she does ignore you, that’s another tip: Don’t worry about it; she probably wants to be left alone. And if she does message you, don’t expect to get a response right away. It takes her time to think about your message, and if she responds at all, she might want to wait a day or two before talking again. So don’t be upset if you get no response the first time around.
2. Don’t be too serious
If you think that a girl is out of your league, then you should probably give up on getting her number now. But if you want to go out once or twice with someone and then move on with your life, then this is the best way to do it. There are girls who will take your number because they like you as a person and they want to see where things go from there, and there are girls who will take your number so that they can use it as an excuse not to talk to you again once their friends find out about their “date” with someone new.
3. Be open-minded
I know what I said above might seem like common sense (and maybe it is), but try not to fall for those girls who are only looking for one-night stands and nothing else (you know the type). If she makes it clear that she wants more than that from you, then move on! She doesn’t want anything serious from you; all she wants is sex from now until forever (or until her friends tell her how terrible of a boyfriend you are).
4. Don’t get caught up in the moment
If you’re trying to get a girl’s number and she seems really into you, don’t be too nervous. Just relax and enjoy the experience. You can still make it work if you act cool around her, but if she doesn’t seem all that into you, then move on to someone else. She might not be interested in seeing where things go from there. Plus, girls have a tendency to change their minds about things sometimes, so don’t let yourself get too attached to a girl who doesn’t seem interested in anything more than just getting laid.
5. Don’t get too serious about her
It sounds like this tip is contradictory to rule number three above, but I think it applies here as well: Don’t get too serious about someone who isn’t really interested in anything more than just getting hooking up! If she doesn’t want anything more than just hooking up from now until forever (or until her friends tell her how terrible of a boyfriend you are), then don’t take it seriously! It won’t work out anyway, so why waste your time? That being said, if she seems like she might want something more than just a hookup from now until forever (or until her friends tell her how terrible of a boyfriend you are), then go for it! Just keep in mind that she might change her mind about things sometime, so don’t get too attached to someone who doesn’t seem interested in anything more than just getting laid.
6. Ask your friends for numbers
If you have any friends who are in their 20s or 30s and you’re interested in messaging, you could always ask them for their friends’ numbers. While you don’t want to pressure yourself into going on a first date with them (and you should definitely respect their boundaries), you also don’t want to be too choosy about whom you message. You can always message the other girls at their level, and if they don’t message you back, that’s fine too. Your objective is to make friends.
7. Don’t be afraid to ask for hers
Sometimes you don’t even know if a girl you’ve been messaging is single or if she’s already taken. So, the best way to go is to ask. If you’re at a loss for words and don’t know how to start a conversation, ask her what she likes to eat, what her favorite color is, or what her job is. You can also ask her why she isn’t on Tinder yet, and if she doesn’t know, ask her what her excuse is because you’re curious. Not only will this help you open up a dialogue, but it will give you something to work toward.
8. Be persistent, even if you don’t know how to act
You might feel like a nervous wreck when you first start messaging girls, but that’s just because you’re a first-time messenger. It takes some practice, but eventually, you’ll get the hang of it. Be patient, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. It might seem silly, but when you’re first starting out, you don’t know how to ask for things. So, for example, if you want to borrow money, say, “Could you give me some money to buy groceries?” In reality, it’s not that big of a deal, and you could probably get a girl to give you money in a heartbeat.
9. Make a game of it and see what happens
If you’re really nervous, you can also try to approach girls while they’re on the phone. Just make sure you’re on the phone with a friend, so you don’t sound stupid or try to talk to complete strangers. And don’t be afraid to say “hi” to a random girl you see while you’re out. Just walk up and say hello to her, then walk away. Or, you could also try approaching a group of girls you know and seeing if they want to go on a first date. This is a lot less intimidating than going on a first date with a complete stranger.
Getting a girlfriend’s number can be a great thing, but it’s also important to remember that getting it doesn’t mean you’re dating. If you don’t know how to date in a profound way or have a history of dating lightly, getting a girlfriend’s number could be very intimidating. So, before you attempt it, you should probably take some time to get comfortable with yourself and your body. Then, you’ll be better equipped to meet new people, including the ones you date.